Should We Pay Our Kids to Make Healthy Choices?

My first reaction was to be shocked that model Heidi Klum pays her kids to eat healthy foods. But then I relaxed and was able to have a very interesting conversation with some of my friends. One of whom pays her children for getting A’s. How is that different she asked me? Well, I don’t think it is, but the question is, is it effective? I am not sure that it is. 

In both instances (healthy choices and grades), we are trying to change a behavior that is not intrinsic to the child – meaning the child is not internally motivated to do so. As a result, we (parents, teachers) are looking for extrinsic or external ways to motivate, hoping to ignite that fire within. This is not a new approach to behavior change; teachers do it, parents do it, grandparents do it, coaches do it, but does it work?

It may work for some, but in general, in my experience, I don’t think it really works for long-term change. There is tons of research on motivation but the fact remains that everyone is motivated by different things and rewarding a child for a desired behavior needs to tap into what motivates that particular child. Having three kids of my own, this is not easy and varies significantly depending on the child.

When I work with families in the pediatric weight control program, we work together to set specific and achievable goals around food and exercise. We also ask the parents and kids to work together to come up with a motivating reward to help achieve these goals, but these rewards have very specific guidelines:

1)      NO food (healthy or otherwise)
2)      Should be active (hiking, biking)
3)      Should be together (parent and child)
4)      NO money or expensive gifts
5)      It must be delivered immediately (within a week of achieving the goal)
6)      Ideally, it is something that interests the child

Parents need to come up with rewards that they can provide [potentially] every week for 25 weeks!

What I have learned is that most children are motivated by relatively simple rewards. Spending time with a parent while doing a fun activity seems to be reward enough for many. By month 3 of a 6 month program, most (not all) students seem motivated by their own success and feelings of empowerment and control. 

We know that rewards can positively influence behavior, but can't we just keep it simple and meaningful? Parents, hang on to your money and spend time with your child doing an activity you both enjoy.