When working with parents in the weight control program, we talk a lot about the healthy habits we want for our kids when they are adults and how important it is to keep that big picture in mind when we are parenting instead of getting stuck in the moment.
Unfortunately we tend to do what is easier at that moment than take the extra time to reinforce limits or implement discipline. A perfect example is at the grocery store when you are tired and hungry and your child is begging you for special sugary cereal. It may be easier to say yes at the time, but you will regret it when you get home, and you will regret it even more when you go back to the store the following week and your child starts bugging you again for the special sugary cereal. If you go to the store and say NO every time, it will be difficult for a few visits but eventually your child will stop asking.
Remember the BIG picture and that it is easier to set a habit than change a habit. And the younger we are, the easier it is to create good habits (and change bad ones)!
Tip #1: It is OK to set limits around food. Just like we set limits for homework, TV/Computer time, play-dates and chores, we need to set limits around food. Kids need and want limits, even if they push back. So what does this look like? Some examples of limits/rules that we have at my house:
From a habit or behavior perspective, if we give in and cook our kids what they want for dinner every time they don't like what we made, what are we teaching them? What will they do if they go to a friends house and they don't like the dinner being served? If your child knows you will make macaroni and cheese for them every time they don't like dinner, why would they ever try new foods? I wouldn't. I LOVE macaroni and cheese.
From a weight control perspective, what happens when you make your child's favorite dinner every night? Research shows that if we prepare or are served our favorite foods, we eat more. So if we eat our favorite foods like macaroni and cheese every night, you will likely eat more than necessary and gain weight.
A long time ago I worked with a mom of a very young child. She was already worried about her 5 year-old's weight because her pediatrician had told her she was overweight. She and I talked about what her daughter ate for dinner which was chicken nuggets and macaroni & cheese because she did not like anything else. Since she was already prompted by her pediatrician to make changes, I encouraged her to make one healthy dinner for the whole family and if she did not like what was on her plate, she could leave the table. (I never make a child eat everything on their plate BUT, it is very important for kids to try it). Needless to say, her daughter was very mad at first but the mom stayed consistent with her message and she did not make it into a battle. She simply stated that this was dinner and if she did not like it, she could leave the table. I can't remember how long it took for the daughter to accept this new rule but it was only a matter of days which in the long run, is not very long!
Tip #3: Keep healthy food in the house and junk food out! If we want our kids to make healthy choices, than we need to make healthy choices available. Parents have control over the shopping and cooking so they have the ability to buy and make the food that they want their kids to eat. If your child won't eat the healthy snacks, then they probably aren't truly hungry. They may be bored, sad, tired, lonely etc. Help your kids identify reasons why they might be eating when they aren't hungry and try to work together on listening to your body to learn signals of being hungry and full.
By keeping the junk food out, you are reducing the urge to reach for those foods when a child may not actually be hungry. I meet a lot of parents who think kids need to have will power when it comes to treats. Really?? How many adults do you know who have willpower when someone brings a box of donuts or cookies to work? Or who pass by the candy dish without taking one? It is just NOT FAIR to make kids pass up the cookies for the carrots if they are both in the kitchen. The "will-power" will come later...
Tip #4: Be a Good Role Model. It is what it is - kids do as we do, not as we say. Do you want your kids texting on the phone while driving? Then you better not be doing it. If you want your kids to eat healthy foods, then you should be eating healthy foods too. If you want them to exercise, then you should be exercising too. It is what it is. Now, that being said, it is OK for your kids to see you struggle. I work with a lot of parents who struggle with either exercise and/or making healthier food choices. I advise them to tell their kids that they are struggling but they are going to try to exercise at least X times a week and eat fewer Red Lights this week because they know it is healthy.
Unfortunately we tend to do what is easier at that moment than take the extra time to reinforce limits or implement discipline. A perfect example is at the grocery store when you are tired and hungry and your child is begging you for special sugary cereal. It may be easier to say yes at the time, but you will regret it when you get home, and you will regret it even more when you go back to the store the following week and your child starts bugging you again for the special sugary cereal. If you go to the store and say NO every time, it will be difficult for a few visits but eventually your child will stop asking.
Remember the BIG picture and that it is easier to set a habit than change a habit. And the younger we are, the easier it is to create good habits (and change bad ones)!
Tip #1: It is OK to set limits around food. Just like we set limits for homework, TV/Computer time, play-dates and chores, we need to set limits around food. Kids need and want limits, even if they push back. So what does this look like? Some examples of limits/rules that we have at my house:
- Kitchen is closed at 8 pm (no snacking etc.)
- Dessert night is Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday night
- TV is off during meals
- Family sits together for dinner (as often as is possible but make it a priority)
- No food in the bedrooms
From a habit or behavior perspective, if we give in and cook our kids what they want for dinner every time they don't like what we made, what are we teaching them? What will they do if they go to a friends house and they don't like the dinner being served? If your child knows you will make macaroni and cheese for them every time they don't like dinner, why would they ever try new foods? I wouldn't. I LOVE macaroni and cheese.
From a weight control perspective, what happens when you make your child's favorite dinner every night? Research shows that if we prepare or are served our favorite foods, we eat more. So if we eat our favorite foods like macaroni and cheese every night, you will likely eat more than necessary and gain weight.
A long time ago I worked with a mom of a very young child. She was already worried about her 5 year-old's weight because her pediatrician had told her she was overweight. She and I talked about what her daughter ate for dinner which was chicken nuggets and macaroni & cheese because she did not like anything else. Since she was already prompted by her pediatrician to make changes, I encouraged her to make one healthy dinner for the whole family and if she did not like what was on her plate, she could leave the table. (I never make a child eat everything on their plate BUT, it is very important for kids to try it). Needless to say, her daughter was very mad at first but the mom stayed consistent with her message and she did not make it into a battle. She simply stated that this was dinner and if she did not like it, she could leave the table. I can't remember how long it took for the daughter to accept this new rule but it was only a matter of days which in the long run, is not very long!
Tip #3: Keep healthy food in the house and junk food out! If we want our kids to make healthy choices, than we need to make healthy choices available. Parents have control over the shopping and cooking so they have the ability to buy and make the food that they want their kids to eat. If your child won't eat the healthy snacks, then they probably aren't truly hungry. They may be bored, sad, tired, lonely etc. Help your kids identify reasons why they might be eating when they aren't hungry and try to work together on listening to your body to learn signals of being hungry and full.
By keeping the junk food out, you are reducing the urge to reach for those foods when a child may not actually be hungry. I meet a lot of parents who think kids need to have will power when it comes to treats. Really?? How many adults do you know who have willpower when someone brings a box of donuts or cookies to work? Or who pass by the candy dish without taking one? It is just NOT FAIR to make kids pass up the cookies for the carrots if they are both in the kitchen. The "will-power" will come later...
Tip #4: Be a Good Role Model. It is what it is - kids do as we do, not as we say. Do you want your kids texting on the phone while driving? Then you better not be doing it. If you want your kids to eat healthy foods, then you should be eating healthy foods too. If you want them to exercise, then you should be exercising too. It is what it is. Now, that being said, it is OK for your kids to see you struggle. I work with a lot of parents who struggle with either exercise and/or making healthier food choices. I advise them to tell their kids that they are struggling but they are going to try to exercise at least X times a week and eat fewer Red Lights this week because they know it is healthy.
One of the most important things we can do to support healthy choices, is to create healthy environments for our kids. Our job as a parent is to create an environment at home where your child can be successful. We can't ask or expect our kids to make healthy choices when they are surrounded by unhealthy ones.
