Creating Healthy Habits: Setting Limits Around Food

Setting reasonable limits around food is critical to creating healthy habits for your children and family. Here are a few great rules/suggestions that I have collected over the years from families, pediatricians and psychologists:

• Three Bite Rule - Eat what is prepared for dinner (assuming it is reasonable) or you must try 3 bites before you leave the table.

• Do Not be a Short Order Cook – see the Three Bite Rule. Kids can try three bites and if they still don’t like it, they can be excused from dinner – for the night!  

Do Not go into the kitchen to make them mac and cheese! Pediatricians have told me time and again that it is OK for a child to go to bed hungry. Remember, it may not even be about the food. Your children are testing you to see if they can get what they want. Your children will not starve if they end up going to bed without dinner.  Hopefully, if you are able to stick to your rule, they will learn that they need to at least try to eat what is served – or they won’t get dinner. 

• Kitchen is closed at 7 pm. Close the kitchen! It is very reasonable to say that NO ONE can go in the kitchen after dinner for food (nonfat milk, tea and water can be exceptions). Your entire family will be healthier if you implement this rule.

• Create Dessert Night(s) Select 1-2 nights a week for Dessert Night. Eating dessert every night is not a healthy habit to teach our kids. Many of the families I work with who are now struggling with their weight, say that they grew up in homes that had dessert every night - those habits often get repeated in our own households. We do want to create a healthier attitude towards dessert including learning how to budget and plan a head for a special treat. Setting aside a couple nights a week for dessert is very reasonable. Try to eat it out of the house to make it a special event. Also, enjoying dessert out of the house will reduce the chance of tempting leftovers.

Making Healthy Changes in YOUR Community

Perhaps it is my public health background, but I am committed to making change which is why I continue to work at Stanford, volunteer on the PTA board, implement a Coordinated School Health Program in our school district, advise local youth sports organization and serve in city government. 

I need to be in situations where I feel like I can make a difference, even in my small community. I believe that parents have a huge voice in creating these changes and collectively, these small victories can make a big impact towards creating a healthy environment for all kids. 

I want to encourage and empower parents to make changes in your communities. You have a strong voice and are in positions that can help support changes. For example, if you are a member of PTA and/or serve on the PTA board at your school, you can get a group of parents together to evaluate the school lunches, the treat/party policy, the PE program and the district's wellness policy.

Other ways you can make a difference:

• If you are a youth sports coach: Ask parents to bring only fruit and water to games. I still prefer no snacks, especially as kids get older. They are often on they way out to a meal after a game anyway. 
• If you have a child in youth sports, volunteer to be the snack parent and (with the coaches permission) implement a healthy snack  policy or tell parents that you and the coach decided you don't need snacks because they are usually going out to eat right after the game. I have found that most parents are actually RELIEVED to not have to worry about snacks.
• Talk to your child's teacher about alternative ideas to celebrate birthdays instead of food and treats. Again, MOST teachers are relieved. They find it to be a real pain to distribute birthday treats and then they have to deal with sugared up kids all day.
• Talk to the school principal about what the school treat policy is during the school day and at school events. 
• Talk to the Superintendent about the district's Wellness Policy. If it is outdated, as many are, offer to help create a task force to look at it more closely.
• Offer to be involved in organizing a school event (book fair, dance, jog a thon, etc.) and encourage healthy snacks. Find other parents who agree with your mission - they are out there - and there are more than you think.
• Instead of food fundraisers at your school (cookie dough, chocolates etc.) suggest a walk-a-thon or jog-a-thon instead. Not only are they great community events, they make a lot of money!

PARENTS: Do not underestimate your ability to make a strong 

impact that will result in positive 

changes for your own child and the community.

REMEMBER: parents, teachers, coaches and administrators  have a responsibility to teach children HOW to make healthy choices and support an environment that supports and encourages those choices!! 

Packing a Healthy Lunch

Despite recent efforts to improve the health of school lunches, they are still falling short. Most families that I work with, give up on the school lunch and resort to packing it themselves.

Below is a basic framework that you and your children can use to build your own lunch.

Here is a list of lunch ideas:

Additional Suggestions:

• Drinks 
• water or 1% or nonfat milk. Maybe you make a deal with your child that they can have juice 1x a week. 
• Make sure the juice box is not more than 6 oz.
• Treats 
• Agree to pack a dessert 1-2 days a week and limit it to 2 small cookies or a small pudding. 
• Putting in a note or little toy/stickers is a great way to brighten their day :)

The "Team" Approach to Kids Weight Control

What really works when it comes to helping children with their weight? There is a list of common themes that I have collected over the years from successful families and one of them is the TEAM approach.

Parents and children who work together as a TEAM to make healthy changes, create a healthy environment, and continually communicate and support each other, tend to be more successful than families where the parent(s) is/are not actively involved in a positive and supportive way. Families where a child is signaled out for being overweight; or where a parent contributes to an unhealthy environment by purchasing and preparing red light foods, eating red light foods in front of the child, taking them out to fast food or treating siblings differently...struggle

So, what does the TEAM approach look like?

•  Parents are positive and non-judgmental of their child's choices. This is hard - it is very hard to watch your child grab an extra cookie - but very important to remember. If a child thinks they are being judged for their food choices, the less likely they will be honest about the choices they are making, therefore, less like to make healthy changes. 
• Parents must be willing to make changes in the house that may be difficult for themselves and other family members like not buying red light foods and eating out less often.
• Parents need to be active participants in the process by exercising with the kids, supporting kids activities and helping to prepare healthy green and yellow light foods.

Try taking a deep breath, taking a step back, and being a team player rather than the parent or the "food police".